“Spider dilemma, spider dilemma, does whatever a sp…” No, that doesn’t really work, right? Anyway, I do have a spider dilemma, or rather I did, now I’ve got two!

First dilemma… There’s a strange little spider living on my cannabis plant. The fact that it’s living there isn’t the problem, in fact I think it’s great, it’s like having a 24 hour security guard against little pests that might be bad for the plant. The dilemma is I’m going to be cutting the plant down in a couple of weeks and I’m really concerned about where the spider is going to go after I’ve made it homeless. I don’t know what kind of spider it is, but it’s kinda strange looking, even by spider standards. Maybe it’s some sort of special spider that only likes eating things that eat cannabis plants. If that’s the case, then I’m left wondering how it found its way here and where from in the first place, and when I cut down the plant I’m basically signing its death warrant, which isn’t a nice feeling.

Also, is it a stoned spider? Bearing in mind where it lives, and what it lives on, I guess it’s possible that the spider is constantly high. Tough job…

So the plan is to try and re-home it on one of the plants in the bathroom and hope that there’s enough compatible food to sustain it, and nothing further up the food-chain (like bigger, badder spiders) to put it at risk. The temperature might not be as pleasant as it’s become used to but hopefully it can find a safe little corner somewhere and make itself a new home, thumbs pressed!

Here’s a picture of the spider in question, and don’t worry, it’s a really zoomed in photo. In reality it’s only the size of a penny, including the legs.

You can step into my parlour any time 😉

Second dilemma… I’d pretty much planned this post in my head, and took the photo, and was all ready to go, then realised the spider only has six legs! Bonus point to anyone who already spotted that detail in the photo. So, is it a spider? Well, it looks like one (if you don’t do a leg count) and it lives on a web and checks out anything that touches the web, so far so spider-like. I’d already googled ‘spiders that live on cannabis plants’ and mostly got stuff about spider mites, one of those little pests I mentioned earlier. When I googled six legged spiders, it pretty much suggested that it probably had eight once upon a time and had lost a couple along the way. Seems like it’s fairly common too. There is such a thing as a spider beetle, but I don’t think it’s one of those. Great, so now I’m evicting a disabled spider, just to make me feel even more guilt!

If I remember, I’ll do a follow-up post once I’ve re-homed it, so nobody has to be left wondering about the spider’s fate. Ideally, it will be quite comfortable living in the bathroom and can enjoy a long and fulfilling life (whatever that may be by spider standards.) Who knows, maybe it will bite me and I’ll develop super-stoned-spider powers. Maybe.

Next time, I’ll be showing you what I like to do with plastic cutlery…

Bye for now… ses x