I’ve had this blog post planned for a little while (which may just be an excuse for me being slow lately!) but then something strange happened. When I wrote my last post about the aliens, I was just short of one thousand views on my site, so the reason for the ‘group hug’ was to celebrate reaching that milestone. However, just after posting it, my site traffic dropped to zero for a couple of days, and has just started picking up again now. That’s the first time I’ve had zero views in a day since I started this thing. It’s patently obvious that the aliens are somehow trying to silence me, proving beyond doubt that I am right about their scheme, so I’m not going to mention them again for a while, just until the heat’s off a little…

Yeah, anyway… Over 1000 views! I think that’s quite good. I’ve been doing this for about six months now, so I reckon that’s a pretty decent target to hit. It might be relatively rubbish, I imagine other ‘bloggers’ get a heck of a lot more traffic than I do, but I’m happy with my progress. Of course the Justin Bieber/hamster experiment helped out with those figures,but they still count. If I get another thousand views in the next six months, I’ll be satisfied with that. Probably because I’m notoriously unambitious, but that’s another matter. I’ll have to keep my finger pulled out making up more nonsense, but I’ll try.

To celebrate reaching this landmark, I’ve decided to reward myself with a rant! I’ve been very good at not grumbling much over the course of these posts, so now I’m going to let loose and have a good old moan…

For the Ladies

…About swimming!

Now I don’t have a problem with swimming itself. It’s a very handy skill if you ever fall off a boat* or fancy cooling down after a few hours lounging in the sun by a pool in some exotic location. I suppose it’s also good exercise if you like that kind of thing. No, the problem I have with swimming is how many swimming medals are on offer at the Olympics!

I don’t really care much for the Olympics, I’m just not really interested in it, despite it currently being a big thing here in England at the moment. I’ve followed them in the past, in a half-hearted way, but I can take it or leave it. It doesn’t make a great deal of sense that the allocation of swimming medals should annoy me so much, but they do. Let me explain…

In the running, or track events, the contestants have to get from the start line to the finish time in the shortest time possible. There’s a variety of distances covered, from the 100 metres all the way up to the marathon, and occasionally they like to throw a few hurdles in the way, but the bottom line is to get to the finish line as quickly as possible. That makes sense. There are a couple of relay races too to mix things up, but that’s about it.

Now the swimmers also have a variety of distances to choose from, ranging from 50 metres up to 10 kilometres. So far, so good. They have relays too, just like the runners. That seems reasonable too. Where it all falls down is with the idea of getting to the finish line as quickly as possible. Rather than just swimming as fast as you can, you have to swim in a certain style. What’s that all about?

Front crawl/freestyle, breast stroke, butterfly stroke and back stroke! What’s the thinking there? It’s like getting the athletes to do hopping races, skipping races and running backwards races. No, just get to the finish line ASAP, and the quickest way is to run. I really don’t know why the powers that be of the swimming world have to make people swim different strokes (not to be mistaken for Diff’rent Strokes). Why? Why?

Then just to rub it in they have a medley, where they mix all the strokes together in one race. It’s the Olympic equivalent of a school sports-day relay race, utter nonsense.

So this works out that swimmers are going to get at least four times as many medals as the runners, just because they get to use four different techniques, rather than just using the most obvious fastest one. It hardly seems fair, does it?

Just in case anyone is saying to themselves “But wait. What about that competitive walking thing they do?”  Well I’m going to simply dismiss that because it’s a very weird sport anyway and only succeeds in making me think that the competitors will suffer from serious hip problems in later life.

There, it’s said now. The amount of medals that are available to Olympic swimmers makes me incandescent with rage. So there! Grrrrrrr….

Thanks to everyone who has come and read my inane ramblings, whether on purpose or just stumbled on by accident. Next time, I’ve been thinking about cucumbers (no, not in that way) and I’ll be sharing some of those thoughts.

ses x